final mod's over

finally taken my last paper today... phew free now!
no more stress... at least for the timing being... keke
still considering should i continue degree or join my friend take another dip in mass com... but i shall worry this later...

lately quite lot things happened to me... especially this few weeks, found out lot ugly thing about my current bf... don't know why am i still clinging on to him ...
I'm not only crazy, i must be an idiot too, knowing all the ugly thing he did, yet still stay by his side...

given the last time me, i definitely break up with him, regardless he did it or not, as long he got the intention or thought, worst more he really did it and i even have evident just that i can't use it against him. i always believe that leopard wont change its spot. that's why even though he promise me he did not or he won't i still don;t believe him, and the worst thing is i found out he did not keep him promise.
i don't believe girls can be so generous that knowing their bf cheating on them yet they can keep quiet and act blur, pretending nothing happen and continue be with them. but i probable understand how they feel know, coz this is what i am going through now... the feeling sucks! for all the girls who been through or going through this feeling out there, give yourself an applause, coz we're the most generous human being on earth~!

i know very well that i am so have to break up with him, but don't know why, every time when I've decided to break, there's something holding me back. do i love him? i honestly don't know, i know i dreamed about my ex-bf most of the time, i even dream that we patch back and got married. so what is wrong with me? i guess i must be something wrong.

i'm confuse about what i want and what i should do. seems like i lost my way... i need some sincere advice... who can tell me what i should do and how about to do it...i guess the answer would be myself... coz no matter what, i'm the one who take the action ...