06112009

just got back from ktv... mentally exhausted but still awake ... weird ...

had a meeting with my study and project group mate. everyone seems good and hopefully this will be a good start! after the meeting, i realise that it really seems like i'm running out of time. lot thing will be due in short time and there's so much that i need to do ... freakz...

my boss was sharing with me about how shall we do business or rather communicate with businessman ... he was rather upset with the way my colleague works... so while teaching him, it also serve a purpose of giving me the idea what should be done and what should not be...

Day 7 - same thing... no news from him... and i'm still thinking of him crazily....

05112009

boss told me that i should be sensitive to others people feeling in a conversation ... i might not mean what i said but to other people, they probably don't understand it the way i meant... complicating... but i know what he meant...
there's a lot of thing i need to work hard and improve on... time always seems soooooo limited ...

my darling was having relationship problem... there's nothing much i can do for her... felt bad and lost...it does make me wonder what is love? how can you so deeply in love with a person 1 minute and next moment you just ignore the person like you don't even know them?

Leaving on a jet plane


Day 6 - saw him on msn... msg him... surprisingly, he replied me...
even though it's a very short sentence... sentence that less than 3 words, but i felt like i am on cloud 9! it shows how much he influence and affecting me...

today is day 6, and i am still missing him...even more than yesterday...

04112009

over lunch today, my bosses had given me some good feedbacks and advices.
whatever i do, it always seems like in a rush. And mistake tends to appear when i'm in a rush.
i do admit this is my weakness... donno why, i always think that i'm running out of time. there's so much to do and so little time for me to utilise...

and i need to strengthen my writing skill as well...
which my boss said this to me: " don't write what comes in your mind, write what is in your mind"
i should be writing something, based on what i think, rather than what i read...
this is indeed useful since i am expected to hand up my assignment in less than 2 weeks time... shit

today is not my day... everything seems fuk up to me...
i am very emotional person. i care very much about how people think of me and how people treat me... especially people around or works with me... but somehow, i just seems to have this problem anywhere i go ... there will be at least 1 person who dislike/disagree with me despite that i did not do anything...
what could go wrong? i don't know ... i wish i have the answer... then i probably can take it easier.

day 5 - even though i've been telling and controlling myself of not disturbing him... but i failed. i sms him... i'm so down and wish that he could be there for me... and certainly, this can only be in my dream... he did reply my msg but in a cold manner. he probably will be 1 of the many that dislike me... sigh ...
today is day 5... and i am still missing him badly...

03112009

finally able to find the chance to update what happen today while waiting for the attachment to be loaded...

had a challenging lunch today ...
why did i said it's challenging? coz it's an informal networking/social lunch with the company potential strategies partners... and over the 2hours lunch, i've learned how ugly the reality world looks like... people were sooooooo fake to the extend that even i'm blind / deaf, i could feel it with my hear that they're lying or acting~~~
yes it's that serious ... i am not exaggerating!
one of them seems nice on the surface, trying to be nice and friendly, but if you listen carefully, or if you are wise enough, you can actually tell that he's not helping but sabotaging another. how scary is that!!! i'm lucky that i don't have colleague like that ... or do i? *rolling eyes*

been learning how to do the brochure with AI and i felt good coz i'm able to learn something new! and find myself useful a little bit more! keke
but this is tiring... now i totally understand why those professional are charging soooo much... because they spend their time, effort and energy on making all these possible! *applause to them*

was reading this book named "The Secret". it's interesting coz it says, if you believe in what you want and be positive, then you will get it ... something to that effect ...
i haven't finish the book though... will try to finish them by this or mid next week?

day 4 - i am still thinking of him whenever my mind was not occupy by work...
what is wrong with me? i wanted to know too... anywhere i go, anything i do, anyone i talk to, will remind me of him... am i obsessed with him? or i'm just possessed by some naughty spirit that disturbing me?
i am still missing him badly... hoping that things will change when i'm back to kl...?

02112009

i hope i am persistence to maintain & update my blog daily ....

i had an interesting day today...
attending 2 seminars in a day. 1- attending , 1- running.
i'm suppose to learn the operation of an seminar by my own so that i can do it by myself when i'm back in kl... and coincidently i am also nominated to attend a seminar which by right should be beneficial for my career development.
However, due to crash of date... so i have to give up some part...
Overall i had a busy yet meaningful day!

i've learned a lot from my current bosses. not that i don learn from my previous bosses...
2 things that i learn from my boss... which i can certainly applies to my current situation...

1. Do thing 1 at the time, and be stay focus with what you are doing:
   there so much we want to do, we are trying to please everyone around us including ourself. therefore everyday there's tons of matters to attend to. Hence, we will have lot frustrations and unhappiness when things we want are not able to achieve... so most importantly... we should do thing 1 at the time ... and another key word is be sure to stay focus.
2. in life, everything is about management and the key would be:-
   
   • Do the right thing
   • With the right reason
   • At the right person
   • At the right moment
   • With the right gesture
   Think before you act...

I've been thinking of him the whole day ... especially after i received his sms... even though it's only 4 words... but it occupied my mind and lost for the whole day ...
after dinner talk wid my bosses... i realise i really have to be strong and stay focus... perhaps i should stay myself away from all these shit again... if i able to pull out and recover from him ... this should really be the last time, i got myself into this kinda shit situation... i've got so much to do and it's time & energy wasting to involve in these...

day 3 - i am still missing him...i am counting down and see how long does it take for me to forgive and let go ...

Happened again

It happened again....
I don't know what else to say ... it's real stupid of me to let this kinda thing happened again.
Thought i would have been smarter and wiser from those previous bad experiences...
Thought i would not be so naive after what i had been through the past few years...
Guess i am not smart enough,
Guess i did not learn anything from the past experiences.

I am going through the sad motion again ....

I met someone that i thought i could trust and start a fresh page of my life with ...
Yet ... the story haven't even start and it's the end of it...
It's the 2nd day since we last spoken ... still no news from him.
Has he really let go ?
Did he just move on like nothing happen before?
What about me? Can i do that?
I'm sure i can .... but why am i so idiotic to let this happen again?

胡言乱语

除去想忘记的余下的就是快乐，原来快乐只需要忘记。
你说快乐就真的那么简单吗,想忘掉就真那么容易忘得了？
谁不是学者去忘
忘那些零星的片段和记忆

日子一天天重复，却有着不同。或许它也有它的意义，只不过暂时无法发觉，就让它看上去显得无谓。
生活就是这样，永远都无法预知，所以才有意思。
女人应该对自己好，不要去期待多伟大的爱情，因为每个人最爱的都只会是自己。
人在一点点地害怕付出之后，感情会变的吝啬，吝啬感情的人怎么可以去爱人？如果爱上了，会否会比较容易忘记。 我很好奇。。。

记得有一位朋友对我说，不能对陌生人放太多感情，因为他们随时都可能消失。可人的感情是微妙而无法言说的。从某种意义上来说，陌生与熟悉平没有太多差异。

神说 请在我的双手之间取舍
左手爱情 右手友情
我回答神 我要他上衣左口袋里装着的
孩子 那里什么也没有
我微微笑 这就是我的答案

很多时候遇到了难题或困难，我总是选择逃避。。。
远走
却也无法忘却
原来
我把那段破碎的过往 放进了行壤
成了我唯一的行李
即使走到天边 又如何？