interesting yet sad poem

i found this interesting yet sad poem from a forum... would like to share here ...


Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two
Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.


Month Three
You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four
Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.


Month Five
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven
Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

think twice before you act ... abortion may solve the problem at that point of time, but think of the consequences...

2 years...

if we still happened to be together, it would be our 2 years anniversary.
miss all the moment that we used to spent together, but all these will only be memory, and it will never happen again.
i should have move on and i am moving on, but why am i still longing to be back with him?
i know i am blaming my current bf for all the thing he did, but what about myself? aren't me behaving the same as him? the only different would be mine is mentally and his will be both. so his crime is consider more critical, but mine is minor. but it would still be bad regardless.
dropped him an email, wonder if he would ever reply. i know he won't, and i am not hoping for anything.
just want to wish him all the best and may he found his happiness.

dear... i miss you.

long long night.....

yesterday had a short discussion with him, finally told him what's bothered me, i felt relief.
even though in the end it doesn't seems like there's any conclusion, but at least i said what i want to say, and did what i should do. i guess there isn't much for me to feel pity or regretted in this r/s. i believe i've tried my best and put in as much effort as i can.

good thing is i din't cry yesterday. normally when i initiate break up, i would cry very fierce, like waterfall... but this time, i did not. i guess there isn't any tears for me to shed anymore, i've suffer enough in this r/s since the incident.
like i always say, i don't believe there will be any girl so generous, knowing their bf having fling outside and pretend there's nothing happen, continue to be with them, unless you be with the person for a reason, a motive.
for me, i'm with him coz i love him, but i guess my love for him is not as great to the extend that i can endure and be blunt about it.

he ask me to stay, give him one last chance, i don't know if i am able to take it. should i consider? or should i just be firm with my current decision and move on?

* the hardest part about letting go a r/s is not about forgetting the person, it's how to move on with your life...*

word can't express my feeling...

i guess at this point of time, words can't express my feeling.
the sadness within me...

finally, i gather all my guts to tell him what i think. i question him, and he denied and defensive like i expected.
i really don't know how to carry on, i'm too tired to make a decision.
i know tired is only an excuse. if you want it, you can do it, nothing is impossible.
but somehow, i just choose to hide, choose to be a coward and hide from the fact that he's cheating behind my back, all these while he's been lying, about the friend, the past and our relationship.

at the end of the conversation, he got nothing else to say, to defend himself.
if this is karma, i hope there won't be anymore...
as this is really way beyong my acceptance...

final mod's over

finally taken my last paper today... phew free now!
no more stress... at least for the timing being... keke
still considering should i continue degree or join my friend take another dip in mass com... but i shall worry this later...

lately quite lot things happened to me... especially this few weeks, found out lot ugly thing about my current bf... don't know why am i still clinging on to him ...
I'm not only crazy, i must be an idiot too, knowing all the ugly thing he did, yet still stay by his side...

given the last time me, i definitely break up with him, regardless he did it or not, as long he got the intention or thought, worst more he really did it and i even have evident just that i can't use it against him. i always believe that leopard wont change its spot. that's why even though he promise me he did not or he won't i still don;t believe him, and the worst thing is i found out he did not keep him promise.
i don't believe girls can be so generous that knowing their bf cheating on them yet they can keep quiet and act blur, pretending nothing happen and continue be with them. but i probable understand how they feel know, coz this is what i am going through now... the feeling sucks! for all the girls who been through or going through this feeling out there, give yourself an applause, coz we're the most generous human being on earth~!

i know very well that i am so have to break up with him, but don't know why, every time when I've decided to break, there's something holding me back. do i love him? i honestly don't know, i know i dreamed about my ex-bf most of the time, i even dream that we patch back and got married. so what is wrong with me? i guess i must be something wrong.

i'm confuse about what i want and what i should do. seems like i lost my way... i need some sincere advice... who can tell me what i should do and how about to do it...i guess the answer would be myself... coz no matter what, i'm the one who take the action ...